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December/ January
2006-07
Dr. Abram Hoffer, PhD
Jocelan Caldwell
Breathe Right
By Sheri Kauhausen
The Face Of Relationships
by Jean Haner
Honoring Our Indigos
by Pamela Greenwood
Life In Its Purest Form
by Margaret I. Jang
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The Face Of Relationships
Use Chinese Face Reading to Find Meaningful Connections
By Jean Haner
Many people have never heard of Chinese face reading, or are not sure
what it’s all about. Some think it’s a party trick, or an Asian method of
fortune-telling, or just another way to ‘type’ or categorize people in rigid judgmental ways.
Actually, face reading is based on the same
ancient foundation as acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine. I
sometimes tell my corporate clients that it’s the product of 3,000 years
of “research & development”. It has indeed been refined over time into
an beautiful, elegant and comprehensive way of reading your true nature
– your unique emotional and energetic patterns that make you special in
the world.
There are Chinese doctors who are able to diagnose physical health
issues by reading someone’s face. But in my work with face reading, I’ve
found it to be incredibly powerful for learning to live in alignment
with your own natural flow.
I have this theory - that most of us go through life blaming ourselves
for being who we are. It’s as if we think we’re doing something wrong.
We certainly have enough support for this belief as we’re growing up -
family, peers, school and society as a whole judge us and give us strong
messages about who we should be, messages that often have nothing to do
with who we truly are. By the time we’re adults, our energy is so out of
balance, we’re all walking crooked under the weight of all the layers of
judgment we’re carrying.
And even as adults, our culture supports the concept there’s something
wrong with us that needs to be fixed. By this point, we have most likely
internalized the message - we have that little radio station playing in
our heads, telling us all the ways we’re doing something wrong.
But I think this is like blaming yourself for having short legs or curly
hair. This is just your inner blueprint, who you are meant to be. I
believe we all have an underlying pattern, a coherence, that makes sense
and has meaning. The problem is that most of us spend our lives trying
to fit someone else’s pattern!
This is what face reading can give you - a way to stop blaming yourself
for being who you are. This can free up an enormous amount of energy, so
you can finally get out of your own way and be yourself with joy and
vitality.
And when you stop blaming yourself for being who you are, something else
happens - you can stop blaming others for being who they are, too! You
can imagine how powerful this is in relationships. When you can
understand by looking at your husband’s eyebrows that he really does
need to play basketball twice a week, it can change your marriage! Or
knowing that the shape of your mouth confirms your need for deep
connection in relationship, it can transform your priorities in your
search for a partner.
When people come to me for private face reading consultations, we often
spend some time focusing on their relationships. They bring a photograph
of their partner or someone they’re interested in, and we look at issues
of compatibility. Frequently, their fear is that I’m going to tell them
to run for their lives - that this person is terrible for them! But
there are NO bad combinations.
Instead, the point is gaining an awareness that creates compassion
within the relationship - both for self and other. When you can
understand who someone is inside, why they tend to think, feel and
behave as they do, it allows you to see them in a whole new light.
Rather than going into judgment about them, there is space for new ways
of relating, new decisions on how you react to who they are, and what
you need from the relationship. I believe this is one of the most
powerful benefits of face reading.
One woman was exasperated with her boyfriend’s stubbornness. When there
was something he felt strongly about, he was like a dog with a bone. He
seemed to have a single-minded determination to have his own way, would
dig in his heels and not give an inch. She felt this was incredibly
selfish and childish behavior and worried that this meant she should
leave the relationship.
When I asked just how big his chin was, she gasped and then pulled out
his picture. Sure enough, not only did he have a very strong chin, it
stuck out and up! This is a sign of someone with an incredible amount of
willpower, tenacity and determination. And they will tend to be
stubborn.
But while I could validate her experience, I could also share with her
that this trait also has its positive side. He had tremendous stamina,
so would tend to work hard and be successful in his career. His strong
degree of stick-to-itiveness translated into someone who’d be willing to
commit and stay with a relationship. He’d be more likely to be a strong
presence for her on many levels, to really show up for her when she
needed him. She acknowledged she’d seen this was true.
Our conversation also gave her the opportunity
to become aware of her own part in this. Her lifelong fear of being
overpowered was feeding her reaction to his behavior. So some of her
emotions around this had nothing to do with him at all. All this gave
her an opportunity to get out of judgment and see him in a much more
expansive light, and she left to meet him with an entirely different
energy.
If you’re exploring on-line dating websites, you can also use face
reading to find people who have the qualities you’re looking for at this
point in your life. Of course, you can tell a lot from reading what
people write about themselves, but it’s really true that a picture is
worth a thousand words. There’s so much you can discern, even from those
fuzzy little photos on the dating sites. Sure, women already know to
avoid the guys wearing backward baseball caps, or who pose in their
underwear! And men can probably tell a lot from the women’s choices in
clothes, hairstyle and makeup. But there is so much more to see if you
just know what to look for.
ner.com
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On a lark, I scanned some of the on line
dating sites and compared what people wrote with what their FACES said!
One man described himself as easygoing, but his eyes and nose showed
that he was actually highly critical and also extremely sensitive to
criticism himself. This combination of qualities isn’t uncommon, and not
such a big deal. But his face showed that this was to the extreme in his
personality. When I went back and re-read his personal description, I
saw all the subtle ways this was confirmed in what he wrote, something I
never would have picked up on if his face hadn’t tipped me off.
This tendency might be balanced by other wonderful qualities, and
especially if you are an easygoing woman with a fairly thick skin, it
might not be a concern. But if you’re sensitive yourself, this is an
alarm bell that may foretell difficulties in relationship that would be
especially hard for you to manage.
One woman’s particular combination of eyes, cheeks and mouth showed that
she really loved being in relationship and would lavish nonstop
affection on her partner. This helped confirm the validity of the warmth
in the personal description she wrote. Now for many men, she was a real
find. But if you need your space and don’t want to be attached at the
hip, she might not be the woman for you!
There are no ‘bad’ faces, but every feature and marking speaks to you
about who that person is inside, what his needs are, and how he might be
with you in relationship. Face reading gives you a great opportunity to
easily discover how to make a successful relationship without so many of
the pitfalls along the way.
You cannot single out one or two features on someone’s face and know all
about who they are, of course. Instead, it’s how all their features
dance together to reveal that person’s unique inner choreography. In
order to really learn to read a face, I’d invite you to one of my
workshops. But below are some easy things you can look for in someone’s
face that will give you indications of certain tendencies and energetic
patterns!
Eyebrows:
Full, thick eyebrows are an indication of a vital and assertive
personality. These kinds of people like to be active and to work hard.
However, very strong eyebrows can reveal that he may be a little too
driven, pushy, even aggressive. This can be fantastic for success in
business, or athletics, but unless there are other features on his face
which diminish this effect, he may put his career ahead of your
relationship, or be too domineering within the relationship.
Browbone:
If you see someone who has a very prominent browbone (the bone under the
eyebrows) compared to the rest of the features on his face, you will
know you’re dealing with a man who probably has issues with authority.
He may perceive you as trying to order him around, even when you’re
merely making a suggestion. Knowing this ahead of time will at the very
least keep you from feeling confused and exasperated. It can show that
you need to be more thoughtful in how you speak with him than you might
normally be. But if you both have prominent browbones, then watch out!
Jaw:
If one of the most impressive features on a potential date’s face is her
strong jaw, this can be an indication of a woman with a firm belief
system. This can mean she has great integrity, that you can trust that
you will know where she stands in any situation. But it can also mean a
more rigid way of looking at the world and a tendency toward being
judgmental. Depending on who you are, her firm beliefs may be a
wonderful strong presence for you to lean against, or they may feel far
too inflexible.
Mouth:
Someone with a large mouth will make relationships a priority in his
life, and he will tend to be generous with his friends. If he also has
full lips, this effect is emphasized in his personality, and a sign that
he invests much of his energy in enjoying the comforts and pleasures of
life. An excessively large lower lip can show hedonistic tendencies.
A very small mouth indicates someone for
whom close relationships may be difficult, even though she may desire
them. Or there will be an aspect of not feeling safe in life overall, or
having any strong feeling of ‘home’ in some way. If she also has thin
lips, she may hold onto stress and tension in life and could be so
caught up with worries that she can’t be emotionally available in
relationship.
Again, there are no “wrong” features or faces. The gift face reading
gives us is a new way of developing the awareness and compassion to know
how to make every relationship nurture you and bring you joy. The love
of your life could have thick eyebrows, a huge jaw and a small mouth,
and you could live happily ever after together. As more than one student
has said to me in the past, “WHY isn’t this taught in the schools?!!”
Jean Haner teaches and consults
internationally about powerful techniques to ‘read’ people’s true
nature. With her 25-year background in ancient Asian principles of
balance and health, Jean’s workshops and consultations are filled with
grounded, meaningful information that you can put to immediate use in
your life. Jean will be teaching in Vancouver in April, 2007, and her
book, “The Wisdom of Your Face” will be published by Hay House in 2008.
http://jeanhaner.com |
